frowningfoxbones:

former-fatty:

dear-tumb1r:

topsiders-tanlines:

thespacemaid:

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer
- sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

- rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

slavery:

My killer: any last words asshole?

Me: Alexa play work by Rihanna

(via tofuimpala)

notkatniss:

When Sufjan shows up to the academy awards in a run over trucker hat that he found on the side of the road with a bible verse written on it in sharpie then it’s over for you hoes

(via infabric2018)